February 2012
2 posts
January 2012
1 post
1 tag
It’s not really your birthday until your boyfriend rigs a party popper to your apartment door while you’re at work and it goes off like a gunshot when you get home and you almost have a heart attack.
December 2011
4 posts
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of...”
– Kim Jong-Il (1941-2011)
3 tags
November 2011
5 posts
living alone + living in a basement + sun setting at 5 p.m.
= DEPRESSED FOREVER
October 2011
5 posts
ALWAYS IN DECLINE
BUT NEVER HITTING ROCK BOTTOM
things i have learned in my logo design class
1. i am incapable of designing anything that doesn’t look at least vaguely like a swastika
2. nothing else
September 2011
14 posts
5 tags
i am just like butter today
full of saturated fat and on a roll
in the name of the challah, the bun and the holy toast, amen
1 tag
this thing i invented
birth control pills with important dates and reminders custom-printed on them in tiny lil letters
edit: all of mine would say REMEMBER TO TAKE YOUR PILL TODAY
6 tags
meseta asked: I'll b a lesbian/bisexual/trans/queer Latina woman for u gurl.
is it possible to go from a size 0 to a size 1 in one day???
how did this happen :’(
August 2011
3 posts
nothing fits better than a dead man’s shirt
kathkathkath asked: I'M MORE MEXI THAN U NOW
“I want to open a Mexican pottery store. I think I’ll call...”
– Aunt Veronica
July 2011
2 posts
sometimes life is easier if you just take acid and pretend you’re an animal
June 2011
7 posts
1 tag
i want to be buried in TEXAS and i do not want my gravestone to say RIP i want it to say RIT
REST IN TEXAS
happy fathre’s day dad……..whoever u r………
hi
hello loyal followers, i just wanted to let all y’all know that i’m not dead, i have merely moved to a janky apartment at the corner of jank street and jank boulevard where i don’t have internet access. in order to get wifi, i have to make a treacherous journey of about 20 yards to campus, so obviously it has been a struggle. i am not even being sarcastic, because currently...
brother: there is a girl who looks just like you at [a bar downtown], it's creeping me out
me: make out with her
May 2011
17 posts
1 tag
2 tags
lapiecevide replied to your post: how to know if you’re a good daughter
and the answer wuz yes
wit a capital Y
wrapping my coffee cups with the pages of Shape, glad this fitness shit is serving me some purpose
packing
putting all my checkbooks, legal documents, and sexual paraphernalia in a box marked IMPORTANT
how to know if you're a good daughter
you are a model daughter if, upon telling your father that you’ve just lost your phone, the first question he asks is if there are any “photos of a sensitive nature” saved to the device.
LOVE U DAD
